“1 LITRE OF TEARS” by Siti Azizah 090110101044

Walk up to the top so that the tears do not fall. Suppose now going to cry, I could be like the song that I sing slowly in the liver. But things like that are very difficult for me. I need help someone to look at this beautiful blue sky. If not supported anything, my body will be overthrown. If so, what about these tears?. What should I do to prevent these tears fall without anyone's knowledge?

My name is Aya. I am a 15 year old girl who loved to read to stay with his parents and younger sister, tia, ali and dufi. As usual, the atmosphere crowded every morning this happened in my family. Dufi is always spent jam bread and make a mess around her cheeks. Tia is always received with resignation toast always bitten by dufi. My father always went to work with happy smiles of the children. Mothers who are always busy taking care of us all. And ali who was evasive when asked to carry an umbrella to school today because the weather forecast 70% rain. I had to go to school with tia who was waiting for me.

Middle of the road, tia told me to go first because these days she can turn to picket the class. A slow pace will be bothered. Suddenly it rained. In my mind, how is ali? surely now he's getting wet. I began the steps above a pool of water began to rise. My knees suddenly were stiff when I will step near the general store owned by my friend parents and I fall. With a fairly large wound behind the chin, I came back home. Mothers who will deliver dufi to school panicked, knowing my situation.

In the evening, we gathered the family room. I and tia were talking about the cause of my chin was injured. Tia felt guilty because she went ahead and leave me. But it happened because tia told me to go first. Tia felt there was something strange. Part of my body that hurt is only the back of the chin. "But usually when falling, in reflexes of the hand will hold the body, right?" Asked tia. From the beginning, I was running slower than others. "Whether my activation was the slower?" I think. When I was rubbing the teeth, I looked at the mirror and lately I'm getting skinny. I planted at myself that I was just a little too hard to learn for exams. However, in one section in the body of this sound like something that begins to break down. Appears little concern what scares me to imagine.

Before bed, my mother advised me to do a health check at the hospital. Later the mother saw me walking with the body leaning forward and steps are staggered left and to right. Although I say that I often studied until late at night thinking about the exam tress, mothers continue to pay attention to my condition. Mother is the one who every day among the busiest than other people at home and works helping my father and takes care of us. Even so, my mother was watching me and understands my concern. If the cause is known, surely the doctor would also eliminate these worries.

The next day, for the first time I underwent CT scans as in the outer space craft. So from now, every month I have to do the inspection. Mother told me to write my condition during the term. All the things that I'm aware of and feel at the moment should I write in the note. Whatever it is, if I record, it would be useful in treatment. By writing all the things that I think every day in these words, I began to think of things more than before. The pen is sharper than the sword and the words like a knife. However small, in short, they can cut with a deep and until whenever will leave painful sores.

Every day I pass the day with the ridicule of friends and while walking I felt the instability and weakness in my body in every step. I can not do what it can do others. I feel sense of humiliation and misery. Whether such feelings can only be understood after his own taste? So they can laugh at my suffering like this?. Are they not able to put themselves in my position and imagine it?. Sure enough, I understand it after I became like this. I want to have a heart as big as the blue sky. I do not feel a grudge against the words of my friend who innocently (but not unfeeling). I want to be a human being who accept and forgive many things with the heart field.

Spinocerebellar degeneration is a disease that can result from nerve cells in the cerebellum, brain stem and spinal cord that are necessary to balance the body and moves deftly changed the function until it disappears. That's the name of my illness suffered at this time. "Aya is still stagger and feel dizzy or weak. Little by little Aya will start to not be able to walk straight and eventually become unable to stand or walk. Aya also can not move their hands and talk with as they pleased and eventually could only lie down. The disease is incurable and there aren’t special drugs. What can be done only treatment to slow its development although only little. Little by little but surely eroding the body that is still fresh in this growth "said the doctor at my mother.

I must be strong for my parents, my sisters and for myself. Finally, the final exam was in the beginning. I walked down the hallway and staircase with caution. Suddenly when in the ladder, someone nudged me and I was off balance resulting in sprained my foot. Once again I should not be mushy. Indeed I have to take the exam room so health alone but I must remain calm and concentration. It was worth my hard work and I finally graduated. Starting in April I will be a high school student. High school life was not going to be easy. I will adapt to new environments. Eyes full of curiosity will surely focus on rigid movements. I felt worried and be afraid. Oh, ya Allah ..... Give me the strength to get through all obstacles and give me courage to endure, please?.

Young leaves of a row of banyan trees reflect light makes shadows moving on the highway. Season the sparkling and fresh like this makes sense to be the spirit. But little by little sense of tension began to disappear. My high school life was fun. But the lesson is difficult, especially math. There are my classmates that let me hold on to the shoulder when I am walking. There are also boys who brought my bag. But there is also someone that very different. He is rudi, my classmate who sat beside to my desk. He never spoke as he looked at me. When it returns the pen, he still did not look at me.

The sad thing for me, I have to spend the holiday season the first semester of my high school in the hospital. Lately my feet ached to make it difficult to walk. When you walk without holding on to something, I'll fall. With the help of my friends, I can go through the steps to switch classes. I'm so glad it turned out to be friends is not a one-way. At the first break, I chat with my friends in class because my situation is not possible to get out much. One of my friends always feels happy when reading a book on my recommendation. There also are complaining. "Every time I want to borrow books from the library recently read aya's always been borrowed or ordered someone else first. I so can not be read" said one friend. It is nice if you eat while chatting with the theme of friends. But I must not rush because I will soon be a panic.

The first time I had a time of hospitalization and potent but he says injections are painful. Suddenly I thought, if it feels like to be guinea pigs?. Taste terrible dizziness and nausea, this might be a side effect of the injection. When I met with my family, I just felt relieved. I felt I was back to being human. Two weeks after that I was finally discharged from the hospital. According to doctors, treatment has been carried to fruition but I think not.
One day, Mr. ginting principal and father came to visit my home. I was secretly listening to their conversation and tia. "So you mean, my son troublesome, so?" asked my mother. "Not so, to go to school to help family and his friend companions were helped that child. Schools also can not overload the other students even further. There are also students who say they are tired of taking care of Aya. They feel burdened "replied Mr. ginting take turns with the father of the principal.

Blood stops flowing throughout my body. Every day I was just thinking of myself. Turns out I was exhausting all the people like that. Why did not I realize sooner?. But when thinking about a special school which was then offered by the mother, I'm afraid. It is clear that it is the most appropriate place for me that a disability is. Is the school just incredible to me?. No, this is a choice. Not accept the forced and faces bowed sluggish. Decide on own desires and stared ahead. I have decided to change schools. Although this decision I made, at least 1 liter of tears necessary and possible from now on I will need more. At school extraordinary or wherever, I'd better try than regret. God is testing me. If you think so, my feelings became excited. I do not want to forget that feeling

Begin in April, I moved to school exceptional. What after that? How after graduation? What kind of job could I do?. I should think with good things and abuse. After dinner, my mother was explained what is meant by Mr. ginting and father of the principal. "What is meant by the teacher" they feel burdened “ my friends were afraid. Maybe they are worried about liability. Similarly, aya, your friends is still 16 years old. Although it has been running for a year, according to my mother, the friendship that you get in high school is a lifetime, "explained the mother.

Classroom, my classmates from origami cranes folded in large quantities are tied with thread for me. I just realized it. They folded them one by one. Surely the petition until the shape is very valuable. I will never forget the scene when they fold it in earnest and finally it was my last day at school N 1 BINTAN. Good-bye. Actually I want more cheerful and brave. Neither I nor my friends, tears us one by one keep on scattered. Good-bye my friends. Farewell SMA N 1 BINTAN.

At the time of going home, suddenly rudi arrest me and my mother as she apologized. "After all I owe you an apology. Last year when the exam you are injured. People who brush against you are me. I think you're just plain fall. I also say you are slow. But after I heard the news that girls who I had brush against injured and had to take the exam in the infirmary. Actually I want to apologize to you about the incident at the time but I can not say it. And to search for materials to start a conversation with you, I read the same books with which you read, "explained rudi. I know there is a reality today. One is that people are always borrowing books I have read is rudi. And something that most happy is for the first time, he looked directly at me when ask apologize. We should have always talking like this because certainly a lot of things we can talk. 1 year is really short time.

My arms and legs more and more difficult to do work that should be done. But my mind did not stop work for a second. Think, learn, love, know and feel grateful. When thinking of the picture of my future, I'm very scared. Despite I was disappeared that thinking, darkness still appears on my chest. Why did this disease choose me?. Despite my repeated questions that have nothing to answer it, I can not change it today. The world is filled with soul. When I closed my eyes and my whole body bathed in sunshine, arms and legs are elongated defects this feels like the young trees in the area of ​​double way. Expanded and expanded again my heart. Clear up my heart, please?. I felt this hand throbbing zip. Oh, I'm still alive. I love this life.

(*_*)----The End----(*_*)