His name was Davin. I knew him through an internet chatting. At first, I did not think there can be any feelings for him. Somehow, my little heart let him to keep having an internet chat with me and finally I decided to give my phone number. He was the only one who can make me curious from all of the chatters. He called my number about two hours later. Since then, we often texted and phoned each other. Unfortunately, he was arrogant. He ever said, “Don’t call me Davin if I can not get any girl I want”. His words really made me feel so resentful, but something inside me told me that I should made this guy kneel before me within a month.
The next day, I went to a concert with my friends. Suddenly this Davin called and said if he was also watching it. With the phone turned on in a dark and crowded place, he finally found me. He immediately sat down beside me and stared at me. I really awkward for a moment. But then he briefly walked away with his friends. I could not see his face clearly because of the dark. So, honestly, I did not really remember his face. Well, never mind that.
Then I went to a plaza around 7:00 P.M with my friends, including my best friend, Amel. It appeared that there was an indie bands concert in the square. We watched it together. Unexpectedly, I saw him again. I realized that he's an indie band's vocalist as well. Because I'm not so sure if it was him, I walked over and said hello to him. From the meeting I was finally convinced that he was the same guy that I met the concert.
He made curious and I was wondering who that guy was. I went to an internet café in order to finish my school assignments. Of course I didn’t do the assignment for the whole time. I also activated my ID in chatting software so I could have a chatting with that guy again. It worked. He contacted me and asked me for make a chat again. We talked a lot and were telling jokes a lot. Then I remembered my assignments and I had to end this chat soon. That really made me more curious about him.
Two days after the incident, I kept have a text with him. Until finally he asked me to go out in the same place, the town square. The town square seemed to be crowded considering that it was weekend. Because I still did not know him, I invited my friend, Amelia, to accompany me. We also made an appointment and before long, he finally came. We are very awkward that time. But with my frankly speaking, I managed to create a fun atmosphere. Then somehow Amel left me alone with him. But I immediately gave him a toy sold in the square. And we also really enjoyed the moment. It turned out he's a fun as well. The watch pointed at 9:00 P.M which was my time to go home because my boarding house closed at 9:00 P.M and I also said goodbye to him. But, before leaving, he gave me a heart-shaped pillow as gift. Actually, what did that mean?
I was wondering why he gave me a pillow. I told my friend about that and she laughed. She said to me that he could be in love with me. Well, actually all I wanted to do was to accept him if he someday asked me to be his girlfriend and dumped him soon after because I still remembered about his words. Because I didn’t have any feeling on him, I gave the gift to my friend and thinking what should I do next to make him fall for me. It was a bit cruel but I just wanted to give him a punishment.
A month already after the incident, we were more familiar. Until the end he confessed his love to me. I used to just give him lessons on his arrogance. But deep down, I fell in love with him too. Finally, I accepted him as my boyfriend. He always took me to beautiful places. I feel very happy as long as I was with him. We were getting closer every day. Since we were still in a college, we still had a long journey to go. I felt very lucky to have them. He was a guy that really concerned about me. Somehow I felt that nothing could make me happier than being with him.
Day by day, we spent our time with bunches of happiness and smiles. He really treated me well and he always gave what I wanted. My first intention was to make him kneel before me considering his arrogant behavior. But I did know since when that intention turned against my self. I no longer had an intention to make him kneel before me but that intention transformed into a love. Sometimes I wondering how could this happen. A guy I supposed to be beaten and make him kneel was my beloved one. I started to accept that my intention had changed.
Almost a year I was having a relationship with him. My days were beautiful until that day arrived, the day where the bitter truth was revealed. At that time, I took him to my house and introduce him to my parents. Initially, everything went well until finally my parents asked the name of his parents name and where he lived. Immediately, my parents were very surprised and took something from their room. My father showed a photograph when he was a student at a community college in Surabaya and my father asked whether the woman in the photo with him was the mother of Davin. He was very surprised to see that there was such picture in my house. “Yes Sir, the woman in this photo is my mother, but where did you get this photo?” Davin asked. “Then you are my son Davin… Here, let father hug you.” My father replied. My mother got shocked and cried because she did not know anything about it and make us more confused. “What this dad? What is going on here?” I asked with tears in my eyes. I saw Davin’s face got pale. Finally, my dad explained what really happened. Apparently Davin is own blood brother. He was my brother from different mother, the women who first dad married to before marrying my mother. My father left his wife because of economic hardship. Until finally he went abroad and met with my mother. My mom, Davin, and I were very surprised to hear my father’s explanation. My mother and I felt like we were being fooled for more than 17 years. My mother was in shock and then she fell unconscious. I was forbidden to have a relationship with him but we did not believe it all. My father asked Davin to stay with us, but he refused. He decided to go home hurriedly.
He contacted me two days later. He wanted to meet me somewhere. Somewhere we can talk about this problem. Then we decided to meet at the place we met for the first time. He told me that he already asked his mother about the photo and his mother didn’t deny it at all which meant that we were from one blood. I didn’t know what to say and what to do. He said that it is impossible for us to run off and started a new life somewhere, considering the truth that we were from one father. I was really shocked about the problem. I told him that my father had explained everything but my mother and I still can not forgive what he had done to us. My mother was in worse condition than me. She said that she didn’t know what to do. She even didn’t want to eat anything. Indeed, my mother was shocked and she cried a lot. I didn’t know what to do next, as well as Davin and then we decided to go home.
Since that day, I was often moody and shut myself in my room. I saw my mother’s health got worse in thinking about it. My father apologized to my mother, but she still did not want to forgive him while I can not forget Davin. Until one day Davin asked to come with him to Surabaya to his house asking for the truth. I did not think twice to accept his offer. I wrote a letter to my parents and I went with him. Actually I did not have the heart to leave my mother who was sick with a man that has been lying to us. But I have to find the truth out of all my father’s story. Once I asked parents of Davin, it was all true. I really did not expect it. We are brother and sister. It was a scariest nightmare in my life. I was in love with own blood brother. And in an instant, all the joy for this whole time was gone, because right then my parents divorced.
A couple years later, I lived with my mother and left my father behind. I didn’t think him as my father anymore but I considered him as a big liar. I didn’t mind if he fooled me but not my mother. Day by day my mother got worse after that incident. It got worse when doctor sentenced her brain cancer. I could not drop tears anymore until her death. But deep in my heart, I felt like being slaughtered all the time. After mother’s death, I tried to live with my own strength until I became a successful woman and left all those bad memories behind.
On the other hand, Davin decided to forget about all of these. He disappeared and never returned until now. I tried looking but never finding any about him. But I should not be kept down by circumstances. I had to forget all the love that built up during the year and turn it into a love for a brother. I found it very hard to accept it. But until now I was able to accept the bitter reality. Although deep down I regret the way my love, but I never regret having found it though with a different status.
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